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January 2009 
Light to Dark
Posted on Jan 8th, 2009
by 
AngelosPsycho
AngelosPsycho
she's hurt,
she can't cope.
"Just put a happy
face on it"
was all they had told her,
so that's what she had done.
The mask
the brilliant smiles made
fooled all but her.
The pain wasn't going away
from her; it was going deeper,
to places much harder
and more painful
to clean.
Her feelings festered inside
for years,
nothing real,
only a display of masks
with moving eyes haunting
every step.
She battles
them, they crack,
and people begin to see
through her.
She's afraid.
She doesn't want to face them.
She doesn't want to lose
what she loves.
People begin to pester her.
She isn't one of "them" anymore.
her self-esteem
plummets,
and she begins to fear
rejection.
she pushes others away
and begins to fear commitment,
or anything that resembles
Love.
With no one
to comfort
her, she begins to let the emotions out, unable
to completely
control the vent of steam inside.
No one's ever taught her.
Depression
seeps into her. Things that once brought
joy
now hurt
or don't affect her. People who once thought
they knew
her realize
how wrong
they had been.
They drift away.
Rejection
seeps in.
A thought comes to her-
the thought she'd rather die
than to go through it
any longer.
Simple solution:
she kills herself.
Everybody's shocked.
Why?
Access: Public
Laura, thank you for sharing such depth of emotion and experience with such clarity and beauty. Who knows what the vessel goes through, to allow that inner light to stream forth? Lives are sometimes trials by fire…